


A Beautiful Mess

by askthealien



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-13 15:52:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18472141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askthealien/pseuds/askthealien
Summary: Michael tells you what he loves about you.





	A Beautiful Mess

What did Michael love about you? You had asked him that question yesterday. He struggled with his words. Of course, he did. How could anyone love you? Especially someone like him. He was amazing. He was better than you and you both knew it. You had left before he could say anything. If your boyfriend couldn’t make you feel better about yourself then what could? You laid in bed that night thinking about all the good things about yourself. You didn’t come up with much. The next morning, around two am, you woke up to several messages from Michael letting you know exactly what it was he loved.

The second you left he started beating himself up. What did he love about you? What didn’t he love about you would be so much easier to answer. Just starting with how gorgeous you were. He loved you from the tips of your toes up to the top of your head. He loved looking into your eyes, it made him feel like he was safe. He loved holding your soft hands while you two walked down the street, you often walked in front of him and pulled him, softly, excitedly, towards your destination. You were the most attractive person he had ever seen in his life.

It wasn’t just physical things that he liked, though. You were almost perfect to him. Sure, you had your faults. Your mind was often racing, saying a million things at once. That could be good and bad. You had good ideas and said beautiful things. But your thoughts could go dark, like they had earlier that day. They made you question yourself, question him. He hated when you felt insecure. He hated that he wasn’t able to make you feel okay. If he had just spoken up then you would still be with him so he could tell you all of this in person.

He loved how, in the beginning, every day was an adventure. He loved how, now that you had been together for a while, your adventures looked more like spending every Saturday watching crappy TV and eating junk food. You would rest your legs on his lap while complaining about characters on the show. Michael loved these days. When it was just the two of you and he could forget about the rest of the world he was happy. He wished that these moments could go on forever, but they always ended. The next morning you were always back to your hectic lives.

You got a text and sat up in bed. The light from your phone illuminated the otherwise dark room. ‘Hey’ a simple word from Michael showed up on your screen. You felt bad, instantly. Why did you have to make things so complicated? Life could be so easy if you would just allow it to be. Michael must’ve been a saint to put up with you for this long. ‘I wanted to let you know that I love you.’ Another text popped up. ‘You’re my best friend. You always take my side, even if I’m wrong. You are witty and can keep up with anyone in conversation.’

You felt tears start to slide down your cheeks. You quickly wiped them away. ‘Yeah, alright, so you’re a little crazy.’ The next one read. You laughed. ‘Sometimes a lot crazy.’ He instantly followed up. ‘But I love you and your crazy little brain.’ You turned the lamp next to your bed on, figuring you should get up. You stood up and pulled on one of Michael’s sweaters that laid in a chair in your room. It was cold, the city usually was, but your insecurity somehow made you feel colder. You took your phone into the living room so you could find your shoes.

‘Our relationship is messy.’ He was still texting. ‘All of the problems aren’t yours to hold, though. I can be too clingy at times and too detached at others. I’m a workaholic and I clearly have no boundaries in my friendship with Jeremy.’ That made you laugh. You had walked in no less than 8 times to him and Jeremy playing video games in their boxers and talking at length about their sex lives. It was a bit odd to you. You left your apartment, locking the door on the way out. ‘Your biggest flaw is that you are so mean to yourself. You are your worst critic.’

The sun was starting to come up as you walked down the street. You could’ve taken a taxi, but admittedly you needed the fresh air. You and Michael had been together longer than any of your friend’s relationships. None of them understood the hardships that you sometimes went through, because they hadn’t experienced them. Even Jeremy, who was a very monogamous person, hadn’t had a relationship that lasted for over a year. When you were surrounded by couples constantly in the honeymoon phase it seemed, at times, that you should be like that. You should be giggly and happy all the time. The fact that you had calmed down was a natural thing, but it felt like you were doing something wrong.

You arrived at Michael’s door and knocked softly. You knew he could hear you. The place wasn’t that big and he was probably right on the other side waiting for you. He opened it and wrapped you in a hug. “Please don’t ever leave me again.” Your shirt got wet from his tears. “I love you so much. I love everything about you.” You started to tear up. When he pulled away he wiped your tears. “Come in, please.” You walked in. He closed the door and had to turn the lights on. It broke your heart to think of him sitting in the dark feeling bad about something that really wasn’t his fault.

“I won’t. I promise.” You were holding his hand. It was your favorite feeling. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess.” He kissed your cheek.

“You are my beautiful mess.” You smiled.


End file.
